So I have been going with my friend to
drop off her kids where their dad & her meet to prevent him from
making more false accusations. Her son is @ camp & it was her
week for the kids & the kids go to the dads house on Thursday.
But it was just the little girl going where her son is @ camp. She is
only 5 & vary attached to her mom witch is normal for her age &
where the mom was the main care giver.
So her little girl was fine until the
dad got there & then she started taking a fit saying she was not
going & @ my house the mom told her that we had to leave soon so
that she could drop her off for her dad & that she would be
having supper there & she would see her in the morning. The
little girl made a comment about not wanting to eat supper there
because all her father makes is bacon. I only bring this up because
in the court room his letter stated that he made nutritious meals
trying to make himself look like a good parent & trying to make
my friend look like a bad parent.
This good parent bad parent game is
really old & needs to stop.
I can vouch for my friend & say
that when I was @ her house when they were still together she made
nutritious meals. When she was working she had the roast in the croc
cooking & everything all prepared all he had to do was dish it.
She also asks the kids what they would like to have. I have found in
my experience there is no sense making a meal that the kids do not
like & trying to force them to eat it. One of my kids will not
eat onions so even thought the rest of us like onions I have to leave
them out unless I make him something else. I would never do to my
kids what my mothers boyfriend did to me. He forced me to swallow my
squash & I keep gagging on it. The squash would come back up &
I had to try to force it down with milk. Do not do this to your
kids:(
When I use to go to my dads house when
I was little he would ask me what I wanted to eat I would say Kraft
Dinner. When I was 15 years old I moved in with my dad & when he
use to ask me what I wanted to eat I would say Kraft Dinner. He asked
me in a annoyed tone aren’t you tired of Kraft Dinner. I of course
said “No”. So he maid me Kraft Dinner...lol Till this day I still
love & eat Kraft Dinner.
Also @ dads house I use to sneak &
eat all the marsh mellows out of the “Lucky Charms” cereal. Sorry
dad but I didn't get to have that cereal @ moms house...lol
I am also not saying that I didn't get
food I liked @ my moms house because I did. I got different things @
my moms house that I liked like apple crumble, truffle & crepes
etc...When I was @ my dads I got other things I liked like Lucky
Charms, Kraft Dinner, Donairs, Egg Roles etc...
Well I just can't leave out Grams Baked
Beans, Awesome homemade strawberry jam, & grams homemade brown
sugar fudge & The best Christmas suppers you could imaging...
Me on the other hand I love bacon. I
don't think its too healthy but I love a toasted bacon sandwich with
ketup or a BLT. Now maybe my friends little gild doesn't like or is
tired of bacon.
So what I am trying to get @ is find
out what your kids like don't just stick what ever you want to make
in front of there face & expect them to enjoy eating it...Mix it
up:) Variety equals happiness. Give them something to look forward
to.
My friends kids father also made
comments about my letter to the judge where I stating that my friend
was the main care giver. In his letter to the judge he was trying to
say he was the main caregiver & that how would I know this if my
friend was the main care giver.
So I just want to say I think he may
have been a bit confused. There is a difference between a caregiver &
a provider. A care giver is the one who looks after the kids on a
full time basis & looks after the house. That is a full time job
in itself. So his comment about my friend never keeping a job since
he's known her. I say BULLSHIT. That comment was a insult to any full
time caregiver(the parent that stays home & looks after the kids
& house). I have had to do this for basically 21 years stay at
home & raise the kids & keep house.
If I wanted to take pot shots @ my
friends ex like he has done to her with his false accusations I could
say that my kids father never had to claim bankruptcy. I could say a
good provider would not have to claim bankruptcy he would of worked
more. My friends ex is not as perfect as he thinks he is. Even though
I have had a family member of my own that had to claim bankruptcy. I
am just using this to prove a point because in reality people make
mistakes or bad decisions. There is no such thing as a perfect
parent. It is all a learning process. Parents should not make up
false accusations & take pot shots @ the other parent. This is
not helping the kids.
I have had several jobs as well &
some I really loved & had to leave because my hours were
interfering with my kids & their fathers job & baby sitters
are way too expensive. They usually charge too much & it is a
waste of your time & gas to even work when you have to pay a baby
sitter most of what you make. Then I know with me when I was working
when I got home it was also me that had to do the housework, laundry,
dishes, look after my kids etc. So that was two jobs or more that I
had to do all @ once. Us parents that raise the kids & do all the
housework do not get paid for this but that does not make it any less
than a job that you would get paid for. It is only now that all my
kids are in school I was lucky to find a job that I can work days so
that it does not interfere with my kids or their fathers schedule.
This was the same for my friend only
her son was in school, her daughter was not. So she had to pay for a
full time baby sitter for her daughter & after school care for
her son. He did not help her with baby sitting or after school care.
I think it was disgusting how he tried
to degrade her. He said other things as well to try to degrade her &
make himself look like the good parent. (Good parent bad parent game
again.) He is trying to isolate the kids out of their moms life. That
to me is not a good parent.
Now back to today. We took her little
girl to get picked up by her dad & as soon as she seen him she
starts making a fuss saying she is not going just like the last time.
The last time I told my friend not to force her out of the car to let
him force her out of the car because if by accident she get any
scrapes or bruises he would use that as a excuse to phone CPS &
make false accusation again.
This time she carried her over to him
but her little girl would not let her go & he had to pry her away
& the little girl was not having it & she ripped her moms
hair out in the process. She was screaming & crying taking a fit
& the dad put her in the car seat & went to get in his car.
So the little girl got out of her seat & unlocked the door &
jumped out so my friend picked her up & the father yells “what
the fuck are you doing idiot” & saying that he was going to
call the cops that she was near her car...
Well I will tell you him calling the
cops with bs is really getting old & him acting that way in front
of his daughter isn't helping. My friend told me he said he doesn't
know why his little girl is acting this way.
Well first of all she is 5, she is
attached to her mom as most kids are attached to their main care
giver when they are that young. He with held the kids & they
didn't see there mother so that fear is probably in the back of her
mind of not seeing mommy again. Maybe she isn't looking forward to
the meal routine @ her dads. It could be a number of things. It would
not have hurt him to let the his daughter stay with her mom but he
is more concerned with himself having control than his daughters
feelings.
When I was little I loved going with my
dad & if I had wanted to stay @ moms my dad would of not made a
fuss. There were lots of time that I didn't go with my dad because I
wanted to stay with my friends that lived around my moms house &
that was ok because it was what I wanted to do. It was never because
I didn't love my dad. I love my dad more than any thing & it
helps that he is a good dad & put my feelings first over his
pride & he didn't try to control the situation & let me make
my own decisions:)
Care about your children's feelings
more than your pride. Your job as a parent is not to control or make
all your children's decisions. Your job as a parent is to put them
first, love them, spend time with them, care & provide for them,
keep them safe, guide them, teach them right from wrong. Let your
heart guide you to what a parent should be & kick you anger,
pride & need to control out the door.
