I was born & raised in Saint John New Brunswick Canada...I could not have asked for a better dad, I wouldn't want any other dad...When I was little I remember my mom telling me that I would want to play with her ornaments & dad would let me & I guess I use to break them accidentally of course...Mom would always tell me how he let me play with them & that I broke them...Her good expensive ornaments... Well in grade one is when things went bad for mom & dad, so dad moved out & no matter what mom said she couldn't make me turn against my dad so it has been 33 years since I was born so I sagest mom stop trying to turn me against my dad because it isn't going to happen...Don't get me wrong mom wasn't all bad there were some good memories but too few... With dad my brother & I came first & with mom well after dad left she went all wired...Instead of being a good mother & just dealing with the break up, getting over it & moving on she had only one thing one her mind & that was to turn my down syndrome brother & I against my dad...This will never work with me & she hates me for that because I will not believe & go along with her lies...Even though she has kidnapped my brothers mind she can not kid nap his heart... I do wish I could have a relationship with my mom but how can I when she lies not only about my dad but about me...Just because I wouldn't go along with her lies she decided to make up some lies about me...What type of mother does that...For the life of me I can not even begin to understand how a mother or parent can do that to a child... When I was a little girl & still even now all I wanted was for my mother to just be a mother...I am sorry that dad leaving you cause you such mental disorder that you can not seem to grasp or hold on to reality...But every thing that comes out of your mouth is hurtful lies & how could you expect me to just stand there & let you do it...You could of had my help now that you going through another separation but lying & manipulating are more important to you than your own children...I can see that in your youngest son you already are brain washing him...It is not right no matter how things ended...If you ever decide to get real help maybe then I will talk to you again but if not then I guess we had our last words already...

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Children & Housework Is A Full Time Job In Itself


So I have been going with my friend to drop off her kids where their dad & her meet to prevent him from making more false accusations. Her son is @ camp & it was her week for the kids & the kids go to the dads house on Thursday. But it was just the little girl going where her son is @ camp. She is only 5 & vary attached to her mom witch is normal for her age & where the mom was the main care giver.

So her little girl was fine until the dad got there & then she started taking a fit saying she was not going & @ my house the mom told her that we had to leave soon so that she could drop her off for her dad & that she would be having supper there & she would see her in the morning. The little girl made a comment about not wanting to eat supper there because all her father makes is bacon. I only bring this up because in the court room his letter stated that he made nutritious meals trying to make himself look like a good parent & trying to make my friend look like a bad parent.

This good parent bad parent game is really old & needs to stop.

I can vouch for my friend & say that when I was @ her house when they were still together she made nutritious meals. When she was working she had the roast in the croc cooking & everything all prepared all he had to do was dish it. She also asks the kids what they would like to have. I have found in my experience there is no sense making a meal that the kids do not like & trying to force them to eat it. One of my kids will not eat onions so even thought the rest of us like onions I have to leave them out unless I make him something else. I would never do to my kids what my mothers boyfriend did to me. He forced me to swallow my squash & I keep gagging on it. The squash would come back up & I had to try to force it down with milk. Do not do this to your kids:(

When I use to go to my dads house when I was little he would ask me what I wanted to eat I would say Kraft Dinner. When I was 15 years old I moved in with my dad & when he use to ask me what I wanted to eat I would say Kraft Dinner. He asked me in a annoyed tone aren’t you tired of Kraft Dinner. I of course said “No”. So he maid me Kraft Dinner...lol Till this day I still love & eat Kraft Dinner.
Also @ dads house I use to sneak & eat all the marsh mellows out of the “Lucky Charms” cereal. Sorry dad but I didn't get to have that cereal @ moms house...lol

I am also not saying that I didn't get food I liked @ my moms house because I did. I got different things @ my moms house that I liked like apple crumble, truffle & crepes etc...When I was @ my dads I got other things I liked like Lucky Charms, Kraft Dinner, Donairs, Egg Roles etc...
Well I just can't leave out Grams Baked Beans, Awesome homemade strawberry jam, & grams homemade brown sugar fudge & The best Christmas suppers you could imaging...

Me on the other hand I love bacon. I don't think its too healthy but I love a toasted bacon sandwich with ketup or a BLT. Now maybe my friends little gild doesn't like or is tired of bacon.

So what I am trying to get @ is find out what your kids like don't just stick what ever you want to make in front of there face & expect them to enjoy eating it...Mix it up:) Variety equals happiness. Give them something to look forward to.

My friends kids father also made comments about my letter to the judge where I stating that my friend was the main care giver. In his letter to the judge he was trying to say he was the main caregiver & that how would I know this if my friend was the main care giver.

So I just want to say I think he may have been a bit confused. There is a difference between a caregiver & a provider. A care giver is the one who looks after the kids on a full time basis & looks after the house. That is a full time job in itself. So his comment about my friend never keeping a job since he's known her. I say BULLSHIT. That comment was a insult to any full time caregiver(the parent that stays home & looks after the kids & house). I have had to do this for basically 21 years stay at home & raise the kids & keep house.

If I wanted to take pot shots @ my friends ex like he has done to her with his false accusations I could say that my kids father never had to claim bankruptcy. I could say a good provider would not have to claim bankruptcy he would of worked more. My friends ex is not as perfect as he thinks he is. Even though I have had a family member of my own that had to claim bankruptcy. I am just using this to prove a point because in reality people make mistakes or bad decisions. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. It is all a learning process. Parents should not make up false accusations & take pot shots @ the other parent. This is not helping the kids.

I have had several jobs as well & some I really loved & had to leave because my hours were interfering with my kids & their fathers job & baby sitters are way too expensive. They usually charge too much & it is a waste of your time & gas to even work when you have to pay a baby sitter most of what you make. Then I know with me when I was working when I got home it was also me that had to do the housework, laundry, dishes, look after my kids etc. So that was two jobs or more that I had to do all @ once. Us parents that raise the kids & do all the housework do not get paid for this but that does not make it any less than a job that you would get paid for. It is only now that all my kids are in school I was lucky to find a job that I can work days so that it does not interfere with my kids or their fathers schedule.

This was the same for my friend only her son was in school, her daughter was not. So she had to pay for a full time baby sitter for her daughter & after school care for her son. He did not help her with baby sitting or after school care.
I think it was disgusting how he tried to degrade her. He said other things as well to try to degrade her & make himself look like the good parent. (Good parent bad parent game again.) He is trying to isolate the kids out of their moms life. That to me is not a good parent.

Now back to today. We took her little girl to get picked up by her dad & as soon as she seen him she starts making a fuss saying she is not going just like the last time. The last time I told my friend not to force her out of the car to let him force her out of the car because if by accident she get any scrapes or bruises he would use that as a excuse to phone CPS & make false accusation again.

This time she carried her over to him but her little girl would not let her go & he had to pry her away & the little girl was not having it & she ripped her moms hair out in the process. She was screaming & crying taking a fit & the dad put her in the car seat & went to get in his car. So the little girl got out of her seat & unlocked the door & jumped out so my friend picked her up & the father yells “what the fuck are you doing idiot” & saying that he was going to call the cops that she was near her car...

Well I will tell you him calling the cops with bs is really getting old & him acting that way in front of his daughter isn't helping. My friend told me he said he doesn't know why his little girl is acting this way.

Well first of all she is 5, she is attached to her mom as most kids are attached to their main care giver when they are that young. He with held the kids & they didn't see there mother so that fear is probably in the back of her mind of not seeing mommy again. Maybe she isn't looking forward to the meal routine @ her dads. It could be a number of things. It would not have hurt him to let the his daughter stay with her mom but he is more concerned with himself having control than his daughters feelings.

When I was little I loved going with my dad & if I had wanted to stay @ moms my dad would of not made a fuss. There were lots of time that I didn't go with my dad because I wanted to stay with my friends that lived around my moms house & that was ok because it was what I wanted to do. It was never because I didn't love my dad. I love my dad more than any thing & it helps that he is a good dad & put my feelings first over his pride & he didn't try to control the situation & let me make my own decisions:)

Care about your children's feelings more than your pride. Your job as a parent is not to control or make all your children's decisions. Your job as a parent is to put them first, love them, spend time with them, care & provide for them, keep them safe, guide them, teach them right from wrong. Let your heart guide you to what a parent should be & kick you anger, pride & need to control out the door.

2 comments:

petemosby said...

You are absolutely right - children and housework is a full time job. It is not easy at all to be a housewife. Too bad that no one gives salaries for being a housewife.


-----------
House Cleaning

jonadkins said...

beautifully described. thanks for your blog. my ongoing experience with parental alienation syndrome:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPpm4Gyi1jk

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."
- Albert Einstein -

The Angry Daughter - PAS Parental Alienation Syndrome

The Angry Daughter - PAS Parental Alienation Syndrome