Thursday, March 8
In considering the parental alienation syndrome, it is important to keep in mind that it is defined by no agreed-upon set of criteria; nor has scientific research documented its existence or completely described its clinical manifestations. Nonetheless, parental alienation is very real ... [I]t may first surface and become recognizable when visitation arrangements are being worked out. Sometimes one parent uses the legal system to delay, postpone, and draw out the litigation ... An alienating parent may agree to a visitation schedule only to undermine it once it has been adopted ... More court dates are set and reset; more hearings are scheduled and postponed. The ongoing legal proceedings become an asset for the alienating parent, a way to an indefinite delay in reaching a conclusion about visitation imposed by anyone but themselves.
From: Veronique Wyvell
Sent: Sunday, February 04, 2007 10:02 AM
Subject: PA and PAS, All Tangled Up
Dear Mr. Emo,
Parental Alienation Awareness is a good thing. I wish, however, to see an end to the use of the word "syndrome." I stay busy making every effort to untangle "PA" and "PAS" -- members of the general public appear to be terribly confused by these two terms. Please consider refocusing on a single issue, which should be "PA," especially at this time when the American Psychological Association is preferring to continue its vague and noncommittal position on "PAS."
Sticking with a single issue and sticking to the simple truth will move you and your cause closer to success much more quickly. People like you and I know that many separating parents engage in "PA" ("parental alienation" or "alienating behavior"); it is easy to find and count the number of custody cases in litigation, of domestic relations lawyers in trial practice. Much less certain, however, is the number of children succumbing to "PAS" ("syndromes") from parents who engage in "alienating behavior" or tactics. How would we even measure such a thing? How do we measure something that has never been properly defined? What exactly is "PAS," Mr. Emo?
The following is my recent reaction, left on a Virginia blog, to a comment by a 32-year-old woman named Razor.
Does Razor have "PAS?"
Hi Razor (http://theangrydaughter.blogspot.com) -- Thank you for your comment. You have given me the opportunity to clarify the phrase 'parental alienation,' or 'PA.' The literature will support that 'parental alienation,' or 'alienating behavior,' is indeed often exhibited by separating parents, but that 'parental alienation syndrome,' or 'PAS,' is much less common for it is very difficult for the average child to be 'talked out' (brainwashed, manipulated, etc.) of loving both mom and dad. 'PAS' is terminology that should be reserved for detachment or resentment . . . seen IN THE CHILD [from or for the targeted parent], not IN THE PARENT [who engages in 'parental alienation' or 'alienating behavior'], IF THAT TERMINOLOGY IS USED AT ALL for it should not be . . . I am not, however, afraid of using the words 'parental alienation.' It is all over my case and the cases that have come my way and even yours, apparently. We all need to drop that one word: S-Y-N-D-R-O-M-E . . .
Mr. Emo, why not go to Razor's blog, THE ANGRY DAUGHTER, to see the result of true "Parental Alienation?" You will see there a grownup's detachment from and resentment for the parent who engaged in alienating behavior; you will see NO detachment from and resentment for the targeted parent. Now does your use of the word "syndrome" account for that phenomenon? In your opinion, is Razor suffering with the "syndrome" you speak of? In my opinion, the case of Razor proves that a non-custodial parent can actually benefit from this so-called "Parental Alienation Syndrome." If "Parental Alienation Syndrome" exists, as you contend, is it also your feeling and the sentiment of your organization that this so-called "syndrome" is unhelpful when 'PA' backfires and strengthens the love bond between a child and a targeted parent, a daughter and a father in the case of Razor? In my opinion, the "split-personality" of "PAS" makes "PAS" an unstable and unwise theory to even begin to contemplate.
Best for children, and your movement, is a single issue and the simple truth.
Here is one more very important fact for you, Mr. Emo, the research is clear, children are very rarely lying when they say a parent is physically abusing and/or sexually molesting them. I have written above: ". . . very difficult for the average child to be 'talked out'. . ." Does the case of Razor not support this? Do you really want to risk keeping abused children in harm's way by slapping the label "syndrome" onto every truthful child who is simply trying to protect himself or herself from violence at the hands of a deranged parent?
Please reconsider your promotion of that word "syndrome." I think you would see greater support for your mission, much greater support.
I will visit Governor Kaine of Virginia with your cause and its petitions but not until you discontinue your use of the word "syndrome."
Very truly yours,
Veronique Wyvell, RN
Member, Fairfax County Network Against Family Abuse
Founder, Mothers Against Unjust Law
7831 Enola Street, #TA7, McLean, Virginia 22102
MAUL (Mothers Against Unjust Law) Goals:
Rebuttable PRESUMPTIONS Against Custody for Batterers
PPAs (Parenting Plan Agreements) before Litigation
Moratorium on CCEs (Child Custody Evaluations)
MINIMUM Parent-Time Schedules (UTAH Code)
JURY Trials (in Domestic Relations Cases)
PROTECTIVE Parent Reform Acts
PCs (Parenting Coordinators)
DIGITAL Courtroom Records
TERM LIMITS for Judges
Some editing of the original content has occurred. --VW
Credit for the original post above is from the blog MOMMY GO BYE-BYE
Below Is my comment to this post above...
This is what I posted to this blog in reply to their post:
WHEN 'PA' BACKFIRES: Meet Razor, the angry daughter
Not sure if they will let my comment go through so posting it on my own blog!
From the blog:mommy go bye-bye
Ok, first of all don't try to use me a a pawn to say PAS doesn't exist or that kids don't lie...If there brain washed from a vary early age they are not going to know what is true or not true So they may be ling unintentionally...It is not the child's fault it is the manipulative parents fault that fills there heads full or lies, also if they are down syndrome like my brother then they are vary easily brain washed...I am just lucky that I was old enough to realize what my mother was trying to do...& secondly my name isn't Razor It's Tisha! I think you better do a little more researching & educating your self on pas considering you can't even get my name right!
Also the term - "syndrome-a group of symptoms that together are characteristic of a specific disorder, disease"
Now for any one using Parent Alienation on a child have to have some sort of mental disorder... That would be the term Parent Alienation Syndrome...Any one with such a mental disorder that would cause their children mental & emotional abuse should not have any right to raise those children...
Now how can you say PAS can be helpful in any way weather it back fires or not I am the one that still has the mother that lies & doesn't care if she hurts me or my down syndrome brother with her lies...It will never be any better for him because he is trapped in her care as she continues to mentally & emotionally abuse him...I should be able to have a loving mother that I can talk to if I need to not one that lies & expects me to believe her lies...& If I don't believe her lies & go along with what she makes up in her twisted little head then she makes up lies about me...I do not see any thing good about that in any way for any child!